Presence and Gratitude

A little update about how things are going for us.  Before all this kidney stuff came up we had been planning a family vacation to the East Coast for my brother in-laws' wedding and some summer fun with family.  We were concerned of course that my husbands' surgery might conflict with our travel and to our surprise it worked out perfectly to not conflict.  We went back and forth on what to do and decided the best course was to go, have fun, enjoy each other and our family, and be grateful for all we have  and can do.  It wasn't necessarily in the plan but it has turned out to be an opportunity to live it up a little and I am also tremendously grateful for that.  We decided to extend our trip a bit and leave a few days earlier so my husband could roll in some work with his impending surgery and recovery as well as take advantage of the travel and the close by family.

As I sit here in a hotel room in Killington, VT looking at the mountain top out my window, I feel so many warm happy feelings.  This was always our dream, that I wouldn't be strapped to the gym and I could travel with my husband on his work trips to these beautiful and fun places.  We are blessed that he loves his job and that I can now work from my computer wherever I am and know that the gym is in good hands with my amazing staff.  Our son is in Connecticut enjoying the beach life at his Grandparents, cooking pizza with his Nonno, and watering the garden with his Nonna, making memories he will remember forever.  Both my husband and I work during the day, he spends most of his time in meetings and me on my computer or phone, but I get to workout, enjoy the pool, and the other amenities of the ski resorts.

I would be lying if I didn't say we sometimes have bad moments, hours or days.  We are still spending every available minute researching, following up, and soaking up every bit of information we can from stories of others, podcast, doctors, articles, you name it.  We are also sending a big "THANK YOU" to everyone who has sent us resources or told us an uplifting story or shared their own experience.  We are listening to and reading them all and they have been tremendously helpful.   It makes us feel so not alone in this journey, and gives us more and more hope every day.   

Sometimes that punched in the gut feeling creeps back in, and we wonder if we are doing enough.  He wonders constantly, should he do this diet, should he cut out this thing, there is so much conflicting and confusing information.  But the journey is his, to face uniquely in his way.  I can only tell him what I think I might do where I in his shoes, and to be honest, it's hard to say what I would feel were the tables turned.  We are making what we think are the best decisions together for our family.  We feel that surgery is the best course of action, along with a few supplements recommended by the naturopath to hopefully give the potential cancer less chance of spreading.  He continues to maintain his healthy diet and lifestyle, eating all the vegetables, working out everyday. 

I continue to try to improve my own health and fitness as well.  My plan was to take my after photos for the Oxygen Challenge 5 before we left but the entry was not open and I have not had a chance to take them since we have been on the road.  It has honestly worked out for the best, I am still getting good hard workouts in and eating very well.  I hope to get them taken before the wedding Saturday, and I think this little bit of relaxation and family time will actually pay off in my benefit in my body composition.  We shall see.

For now we are focusing on living in the moment, and being grateful for it, just as it is.  He even convinced me to go zip lining yesterday and I am not a huge fan of heights.  I said "yes!" right away so I couldn't have time to think about it.  I cannot say, in this instance, that stepping outside of my comfort zone was hugely gratifying, it scared the crap out of me, but it was definitely something I will remember we did together, and I was amazingly beautiful up there at Gunstock Mountain in New Hampshire.  My husband just got a kick out of the fact I did it, so I guess it was worth it.  Living it up, being present and maybe getting a little brave, and that is a good thing.