In the Woods

Whew, these past few days have been a bit of a blur.  Thank you all who have reached out, supported and sent love and prayers our way.  After 3 days of hustle we have seen, a general practitioner, done the referral hustle, seen a urologist in South Lake Tahoe and another in San Francisco.  Things have been moving fast, but that is good.  The current and recurrent opinion is the kidney has got to go and surgery is scheduled for August 19th.  Which seems far away but the surgeon re-assures us this has been there growing for years!  Thank goodness for that back MRI.  He still has no symptoms.   So here I am, recovering from a literal rollercoaster of emotion.  Feeling in one moment empowered and strong and in the next like a weak kneed child, moments from vomiting with fear.  

I have had so much love and support from my clients and co-workers.  And the advice I have received has been phenomenal.  I already knew LadyBoss's were BA and resilient, and the community is priceless, but I love the willingness to be vulnerable and honest and share real life experience.  You ladies are THE BEST!  Also from my IRL community, including my business partner, family and friends.  I've felt very out of control the last few days, which is a scary experience, but knowing you are all there and sending love has been HUGE.  

It's my inclination to believe everything the docs are saying... these guys have some heavy hitting resumes and we busted our asses to get in to see them and as quickly as we did.  I like to think I can understand what they are talking about and they have all been straight shooters, which we appreciate, and also talking to us like humans not a patient and his wife.  Everyone has been great and professional.  I am grateful we've had practice at this, grateful I have built to courage to not care what other people think and be assertive in what we need and finding information.  They are saying this surgery will likely be curative but it's 95% cancer, based off it's appearance, size and location.  They say, they kick this things ass all the time.  Sooooo.  We are onboard with that.  Today I am trying to immerse myself in the normal, find gratitude in every moment of work which I am so thankful to have to keep my mind occupied, and doing what I love (how great is that!?!).  We've created this life for a reason, because we love it, and that in and of itself makes our base so solid.  That tightness sneaks into my gut every now and then, but I am trying to shut it up lovingly, mainly by running into the woods, up a mountain,  and breathing, a bit of crying maybe too. Movement, nature, and breath has been so beautiful and centering.  I can see the future clearly and it's going to be great.  He is strong, healthy and determined.

In the meantime we are going to do our research and seek out alternative treatments and ideas.  He even had me listening to a podcast on the way down to see the surgeon that I would have picked out on positive mindset and the power of the mind, lol.  I love it.  Doc says basically live your life.  So we've got some travel, family time, work, and a wedding to look forward in that time which is fantastic for if nothing else the distraction....and the joy!  Our team is strong, and we will persevere.  If nothing else we are finding the best in the little kick in the butt to prioritize what is important, what and who we love, being together, getting away from the grind, putting the phones down, closing the computers, and experiencing life more.

Keep sending your love and resources, and I will keep updating this page as things come about.  I am looking forward to enjoying our summer and I will worry about surgery when the day gets here, for now we've got some life to live!  Keep sending your prayers, strength and love, we are forever grateful and blessed to have such community.